November 17, 2013

Falling Out of Love

I detest the term "falling out of love." It's a lie and an escape from facing your own frailties.  You "fall" out of a tree because your foot slipped on a branch.  You "fall" off your bike because you skidded on soft gravel. Neither require an act of the Will. But you don't "fall" out of Love... You choose to do so, whether it be from lack of desire for the family life or from a lack of desire for one's spouse. 

Nor do believe in the "I love you, children, but I don't Love your Mom/Dad anymore" mantra. To me, you can't Love one without loving the other. The children were conceived in the Love of spouse and if that Love should "fall", then it must, by extension, also "fall" from the heights it once was for the children. The Love for the one is mutually dependent upon the other. They cannot be separated and anyone who says they can is naive, a liar or a fool. Love is not measured in degrees that you can regulate - its "full on" or "full off", there is no "simmer" mode. If you Love your children, then you must Love their Mom/Dad. If you "Fall out of Love" with the latter, then you fall out of love with the former. You can't have it both ways...

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