March 1, 2014

KUDO's to Father Zuhlsdorf....

Over at Fr. Z's blog, a recent convert posted in the "Ask Father" column:

I am in RCIA and am scheduled to be confirmed at Easter. I was raised Baptist and baptized as a teenager, as was my husband, but we had both left church and were only married civilly. I am converting to Catholicism. My husband is not and is hostile to Christianity. I asked my pastor about this and he said our marriage would be made OK when I was confirmed and that convalidation would not be needed, but everything I have read seems to say otherwise.
Also, there is a good change we may end up divorcing, so would it be wrong to have a convalidation if one is needed, knowing that upfront?
If not, should I hold off on confirmation, go through with it but abstain from the Eucharist until my marriage situation is sorted out and made valid, or what?
Thanks for your helps, and for the wise words and straight talk on your blog.
While I am ecstatic over another conversion to the One True Faith (Deo Gratias!), I was saddened also as the lady indicated a possible divorce was in the future, quite possibly from her converting. However, I was also gladdened once again with Fr. Z's wise counsel to the lady:

You raise the prospect of the marriage possibly ending in divorce. That is definitely something you should talk about with your pastor.
Divorce is serious business and should not be considered lightly.
If the reason for a possible divorce is the tension created by your new-found faith and your husband’s apparent hostility to Christianity, that should be discussed.  Perhaps counseling would help. Propose professional counseling, if your husband is unwilling to attend pastoral counseling. Divorce should not be seen as an inevitability.

Pray for your husband. His hostility to the Church might be something that can be overcome by your prayers and the witness of your own joy in embracing the faith.
Very wise counsel given by Fr. Zuhlsdorf! He could have just as easily been more neutral, rather than give such pro-active counsel. I urge all to head over and give Father Z thanks for Defending Holy Matrimony so well. 
I have already done so...
Copyright 2014 David Heath - All Rights Reserved

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