May 5, 2014
One Of You...
One of you must decide which side of the line you're going to stand on - God's or Man's. One of you must decide which is more important - your earthly "happiness" or your eternal salvation - and that of your kids. One of you must decide who is more important - self or kids. One of you must decide whose happiness is more important - yours or the kids. One of you must decide if what the other said of you is true, that "...you don't Love me anymore." One of you will have to decide what's in the best interest of your kids. One of you will have to decide to violate one of the three marriage bona - at the least. One of you will have to compromise the very vows you took all those years ago. One of you must decide who will be the Petitioner and who will be the Respondent. And one of you will have to decide who it will be that will stand alone at the Foot of His Cross and defend your spouse, your marriage, your children and yourself.
One of you will have to shoot the arrows into the Hearts of your kids, regardless of both parents being there at the onset of this bloodbath. One of you will have to stare into the eyes of your kids as they try and process the idea their world has been suddenly inverted and they are now in free-fall mode. One of you will have to look beyond the flowing tears and the eyes behind them, into their future and know it has been forever altered by words that - to you - are "for the best", but to them are "for the worst". One of you will have to decide that the kids will be "OK", despite the worst fears welling up inside the pit of your stomach that tell you "no they won't". One of you will have to justify to the kids how you can suddenly "not love Mom/Dad as a spouse anymore" but with a straight face, clear eyes and a fully justified Conscience assure the kids "I still Love you all 125%!" One of you will have to Lie to your kids.
One of you will spend more days than you care to imagine missing your Spouse and kids. One of you will have to endure the animosity that will be an integral part of your new life - whether it be from spouse or from kids. One of you will have to constantly battle the temptation to just go ahead and get that e-harmony or Christian Match dot com account. One of you will have to continue to say "Goodnight, Dear" to the picture on the nightstand that is there not so much as a reminder to you, but to your kids who pass by your room. One of you will endure emails and letters from your spouse that if made public would reflect worse on the writer than the addressee, and you simply cannot allow that to happen, so you trash them - unanswered and undefended. One of you will set in Church and find it difficult not to openly cry as you see family-after-family parade in and take their place in front of you. One of you will stay Faithful to your vows and live through the fear, embarrassment and loneliness that is now with you every waking moment. One of you will find the Strength, Courage and Fidelity to do so by kneeling before your King and Queen more often than you ever have before.
One of you will have to make decisions that are based not on emotions, but on Reason. One of you will have make choices that are pleasing to Our Lord, but not to your family. One of you will have to realize you owe first allegiance to God, then Spouse and Family despite the emotional outcries of "selfish" "mean" "pompous" and "liar". One of you will have to defend yourself before the array of spouse, children and friends while standing alone in the Sacrificial arena that is your Marriage. One of you will endure heartache and heartbreak as you become an unwilling participant in an immoral culture that you willingly defend against with all your might. One of you will have to remember ABhp. Fulton Sheen defining marital Love as "loving the un-lovable" and now understand fully what he meant and why you won't stop Loving. One of you will have to drain that chalice to its last earthly drop, as did Our Lord. One of you will have to Forgive those that have persecuted you by remembering the words of Our Lord - as he hung dying on His Cross - "Father Forgive Them, For They No Not What They Do".
One of you will have to endure annulment proceedings. One of you will appeal those proceedings all the way to the ROTA and one of you will Loose your appeal. One of you will suffer immense pain at seeing your former spouse with another. One of you will feel violated each time you know the other person enters your former home. One of you will cringe at the thought of another holding your former spouse. And one of you will get angry that another will be invading the world of your children and one of you will know that person has no right to do so. One of you will try and find some way to immerse yourself in the day's activities as you try and forget this is the day your spouse re-marries. One of you will cringe at the thought of having to be close to your now re-married spouse at the kids school function - or worse at one of their weddings. One of you must be prepared to live the remainder of your life knowing you are still estranged from one or more of your kids and one of you must continually try to reconcile with those kids despite that knowledge. One of you must be prepared to die - alone and unloved - in some less than desirable nursing home, separated from those you still Love and miss Dearly.
And all the above can be stopped if BOTH of you make the Selfless choice to heal your marriage NOW!
Copyright 2014 David Heath - All Rights Reserved