May 23, 2014

Of An Obliterated Marriage But Never of the Vows...

I wrote the below commentary to a Yahoo-group of fellow abandoned spouses, after my attorney informed me that the Custodial Evaluator apparently has recommended that the remaining minor children be allowed to move to Texas with their now-remarried Mother. Obviously an emotionaly-drenched-and-drained reaction from me upon hearing the news, but followed almost immediately by my FIAT to Our Lord and His Blessed Mother. It still is numbing to realize the enormity of this new Cross, but also that it changes nothing of my Love, either to my children or for their Mother. Such is, my Friends, the ideal that is Catholic Marriage, despite the willing co-operation of Our Holy Mother Church to say otherwise.

The commentary has been altered slightly to fit this new venue, but it is otherwise as I originally posted:

Thank you, [your prayers are] much appreciated...

I just wish the priest who counseled her into annulment, the Judicial Vicar who signed it, the Diocesan Bishop who endorsed it, the ROTA who upheld it and the Monsignor, Bishop or Cardinal who endorsed the paper that with a flick of a pen obliterated a marriage, a spouse and Family of Souls, would have cared as much.

And you wonder why, Father Nice's of the Modern Church, why we abandoned spouses are so critical and so frustrated with the Hierarchy of a Church that thinks nothing of the Souls of the Family their Tribunals have just decimated for the sake of the one Soul who just can't be happy. Please don't ever chastise me if you ever come across my name somewhere and take exception to who or to whom I may harshly criticize. You will have no right, for you know nothing of the pain of seeing Loved ones ripped apart from the Parent who Loves them more than his own life, especially when that parents marriage was ripped from his hands by a Church who tacitly approved a divorce and then considered the marriage irreparably broken and used that as an excuse to not use Canon Law and try to preserve a marriage and family. Or without first asking me whether or not I even wanted the damn thing in the first place. 

Do you wonder why we have the Cardinal Kaspars of the world, good Fathers? It's because the Church we all know and Love won't even stand up and defend the very Sacrament instituted by Christ Himself! Listen to what some Church leaders have been saying - they want to condone mortal sin!!! Why??!!! Why do you allow this!!! There is no priest who has any right to criticize me for any harshness in my writings on this blog, in a Comm Box or wherever. No right at all. I just wish I'd be strong enough to challenge any priest that would, but it would require using up the very strength that has sustained me these past 4 years in the defense of my marriage and family - something the Church is grossly negligent in. But my children need the strength of their earthly Father a hell of a lot more than any spiritual Father needs it who thinks all is well in the Church and can't see the forest for the trees. I will never leave the Church and will defend your very lives good Fathers, if called upon to do so. But don't ever ask of me to be silent about the travesty and unjust actions of your Tribunals. None of you have any right to ask that of me and never will. 

So, I will bear this new burden of seeing my children moving 600 miles away, my visitation cut in half and my Divine and Temporal rights as a Father curtailed. I will do so out of the Love for the Souls under my care, because it is the duty I accepted when I pronounced "I Do" twenty-five years ago and in Imitation of the Crucified Lord, whose Love I do my best to imitate. I just wish the Church would do as much...

Copyright 2014 David Heath - All Rights Reserved

Ten Profound Sermon Suggestions on Marriage For Cowering Priests

My good friend Sheryl gave permission to publish a recent post, which needs no commentary from me...mainly because it's all so very true and not much more needs to be said. 

Good one, Sheryl!

(See Mundabor's blog for a very good companion post.)

Ten Profound Sermon Suggestions on Marriage For Cowering Priests 

Posted by Sheryl
1) Disagreements
If you and your spouse find yourself disagreeing and coming to Father for advice, sit up straight and listen intently when he tells you that it is not a sin to divorce; it’s only a sin to divorce and remarry without an annulment.
And have a pencil and paper ready when he gives you directions to the tribunal where you can begin your petition to get out of this marriage, which is not fulfilling, and hope to get into another that is.
2) Second Chance
The greatest gift God has given us is a second chance. I mean a second chance to wear a white gown or tuxedo, and have your crying children standing there while you say vows. Again.
The children are crying because they are happy. Not because they are losing everything that meant home and family to them. Don’t let such thoughts make you feel bad.
Those are bad thoughts.
3) God Wants You to be Happy
Happiness is the best thing this side of hot fudge sundaes.
Don’t think that the children might be crying because they are not happy. And for God’s sake, don’t think about the Lord dying on the Cross so we can be happy in the next life.
And above above all, don’t even try to remember what the nuns told you about the Lady who told Bernadette that she didn’t promise the young girl happiness in this life but in the next. Such are fairy tales. The Promised Land is Now!
4) Annulment Makes You Uncomfortable
Then skip it and find a Justice of the Peace. It’s his job to make you comfortable.
And he is there, just for you.
Don’t be uncomfortable.
God wants you to be comfortable.
Remember, Communion for the Divorced and Remarried is a hot topic in the Curia right now. The more of you that there are, the more the "CHURCH" will see that reality is good.
5) Time of Mercy
My children, God forgives all. Just trust and dismiss what some say about returning to the first marriage. Who is that going to benefit? I didn’t hear anything about children, and neither did you. Children adjust. Adults must be happy, happy, happy.
And virtually no one can live like brother and sister except brothers and sisters. Don’t make me laugh!
6) You Didn’t Consent Properly
Babycakes. You were too immature, too traumatized, too emotional, too love-stricken, whatever; the tribunal will help you with this one.
That is what they are there for. To help heal whatever ailed the first time.
And they will be there the second and third time also. Whenever you need them, they are MERCIFULL! As in just FULL of it.
7) You Were Not Capable
IF you consented properly, and chances are you did not, then the tribunal can make a case that you were not capable of doing what you consented to.
As in, you signed the papers to buy a car, but were not able to make the payments. No nice car dealer would expect you to do what you simply cannot do, and the Church is nicest of all.
8) Your Children Are Legitimate
There are some bad, judgmental people out there who will say that you bastardize your children by getting an annulment. Those are bad people with impure thoughts. Avoid them.
The tribunal has the keys. If we say that God did not join you together, then He did not. And those people who get all worked up over children being born to unmarried people need to seek a new, revised Code of American Heritage Law-type Dictionary.
9) Civil Divorce Makes Your Marriage Unreconcilable
So you must get the divorce first before we can do anything. Just forget what your mother says about divorce being a sin. She is one of those who is behind the times. And ignore her when she says that Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton reconciled, and Natalie Wood and Bob Wagner.
When you take Hollywood as your example, you. . . . Whoops,
Just tell her you have to hang up and get a call from your new hot guy/gal. (Don’t tell her that; just say another call. She might have another hissy fit. And hissy fits don’t make you happy.)
10) The Four Last Things
I can never imagine God would do more than slap us on the wrist, no? I mean, come on! Seriously? (Plagiarized straight from Mundabor.)

Copyright 2014 David Heath - All Rights Reserved