November 27, 2014
It's hard to imagine I would have anything to be Thankful for today. Not really. My Thanks seemingly ended in 2010, to wit: my Family ended; my Marriage ended; my financial security ended; my confidence ended. My weaknesses in character and Faith overtook me; my spouse allowed fully-reconcilable differences to overtake her; we both allowed emotions to overtake Reason. We both were complicit in the decimation of a marriage and family. We both were selfish and damn uncharitable to each other and to our kids. We threw off the Cross of marriage we had both willingly accepted 22 years earlier. What has happened - what is continuing to happen - is enough to drive the sane to an asylum; the religious to an agnostic; the virtuous to the unethical. So...I ask again - what is there to be Thankful for?
Well, for starters, I have thankfully chosen to honor my marital vows and and the woman to whom they were spoken. I have retained my Love for all my children, especially those who have chosen to keep this estrangement fueled and fired; I am thankful I have not lost my Catholic Faith over this divorce and annulment, though in Truth I certainly could have - and some have. (Considering the lack of pro-active assistance from the Catholic Church in preserving marriages and my own weakness of Faith, this is perhaps one of the most surprising.) I am thankful how surprisingly easy it has been to restrict my thoughts to only one woman, when I have the legal and moral right to play the field. I long to lay next to a warm body again, to feel love and not just to make love, and am amazed that that desire is still for only one woman. I am thankful I have chosen not to force my children to divide their Love a fourth time with a new step-mother, nor to force them into a blended family not of their choosing - or perhaps their liking. I am thankful I continue to make mistakes large and small, but more thankful that I merit the Grace to know them and make needed corrections. I am thankful - and privileged - that Christ and His Blessed Mother have continued to look with pity upon this miserable Soul who has tried so hard - and sometimes willingly so - to separate himself from their Loving embraces and Hearts.
Mostly, though, on this particular day - November 27, 2014 - I am so very Thankful that for the first time in 4 long years, I will be enjoying a Thanksgiving Dinner with three of my ten children: my two youngest teenage daughters who now live with me, and their eldest sister who lives nearby. Deo Gratias!!
And to all families torn asunder by divorce: many changes are forced upon us that we cannot change, though we would wish it otherwise. But of those things concerning our own families that we can change - if only in our attitude - one of the most important is that:
God's Blessings To All!
Copyright 2014 David Heath - All Rights Reserved